Quote of the Week:

"Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today." – Malcolm X


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Bullying, and Why It Most Definitely IS a Crime!


I know I haven't been very active in my blogging recently - school, work and exams have all conspired to get in my way of that. Today, however, I thought I'd share my feelings on an issue which has a deep personal meaning to me because of my own life experiences, and one which is a serious concern to anyone involved in the school system, whether as parents, teachers or administrators. I am of course, talking about bullying.

Bullying is something which most people have traditionally considered a typical part of growing up. It's something we all go through, and how we deal with it is supposed to "build character" according to many a parent in the 1950s. "Boys will be boys" many would say, encouraging their children to stand up to their tormentors and fight back against them. This is all well and good in theory, but am I the only one who thinks standing alone against a gang of five or more schoolyard kids intent on abusing me is more than a LITTLE scary and impossible?

The thing about bullying is that often, it isn't as easy to overcome as simply standing up to them. What many people have traditionally failed to understand until recently is that the schoolyard very much has its own pecking order. Kids form a very real society in elementary schools, and it is a tribal one at that, where politics are dominated by the strong alpha kids. These kids show their superiority over the others through bullying, and often making fun of another kid earns them serious prestige points in the eyes of their peers. Ask any of the bullies if they think they are causing any serious harm, and most would say no, but the reality is far different. As a survivor of bullying myself, I can safely say that the intense mental anguish and torment suffered by kids who are put down on a daily basis by their peers at school is not one which easily goes away. I still feel outrage over what happened to me back then, and though I have been able to channel this rage into a desire to make things better and stamp out bullying when I myself become an educator, many other kids aren't so lucky.

Maybe I should explain my reasons for writing this reflection. I was sitting at dinner the other night and came across an issue of People Magazine which was talking about the suicide of a young girl named Phoebe Prince. The magazine pointed out this tragedy's link to bullying, and instantly my heart went out to both she and her family. The bullies themselves were arrested, but now their attorney, along with the school coach, are arguing that the kids are not guilty. Erm...excuse me? Let me read that again....not...guilty? After a girl committed suicide because of the bullying antics of these kids? Yeah...right! Don't get me wrong--I don't think these kids should go to prison...they should get educated on the effects of their actions however. Neuroscience has proven that bullying alters the brain chemistry of all those who endure it, often for the worse. If this is not a form of serious damage, then I don't know what is.

The years I was bullied are some of the worst years of my life, and though in many ways I wouldn't be the kindhearted defender of the underdog I am today, it is not an experience I would wish upon anyone. Granted, being bullied made me stronger, and I may not be as strong were it not for it, the act of bullying is wrong and its effects are everlasting. It's time people realized this. Ultimately, the strength I gained from being bullied came only after several more good years of confidence-building after the fact. During those dark years, I would tell everyone I didn't know to go away, fearing that I could not trust them and that they would ultimately backstab me. These are the devastating effects that bullying can have, and I am grateful that at least I had my good friends and family to guide me through the darkness. Phoebe Prince is a case-in-point example that not all kids are so lucky, and because of this bullying most definitely is a crime...and one which we must all be vigilant in preventing.

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