Today I had an experience that I feel warrants a blog entry, even during these hectic times during the month of may. A few weeks ago, I began my month long Initial Practicum placement as part of my Bachelor of Education, and I have thus far had a wonderful experience teaching in a small outskirts school where the atmosphere feels very warm and familial. All along it felt weird to a degree--after all, it was when i was the age of many of my students that my experiences being bullied first occurred. Given this, the feeling of coming full circle has been prevalent throughout my placement, though today I really had this feeling driven home. Simply put, my placement class attended a presentation being given at my old high school, and this meant my being there in an official capacity.
How can I describe to you the intense feelings of nostalgia that swept over me? It began as we got off the bus and made our way inside. The minute I set foot in the main entrance, it hit me immediately. The sights, the smells, the sounds...all were as I remembered them having been nearly four years before. Guiding the class into rooms that I myself had used as a student, my memories kicked into overdrive and I found myself once more overcome by the feeling of nostalgia. It got to the point where, if I looked hard enough, I could almost see ghostly after-images of my friends and I going about our daily lives and interacting while in high school. The ghosts of my past were rampant today, but at the same time they were clearly just that--ghosts...remnants of a prior time.
This whole experience today really drove home for me how quickly the years do pass. I remember being in high school like it was yesterday. In fact, given my experiences being bullied in elementary school, I treasured high school as the thing that saved me and allowed me to come into my own. Given this, it felt very strange to be back, though as a teacher not a student. Interacting with former teachers as colleagues was one of the weirdest experiences of the day, as was being told by my former homeroom teacher that I seemed to fit the role of educator well. It all served to prove to me though how fickle the passage of time really is. If it seems to any of you that the present will always be, then you are sorely mistaken. Four years ago in Grade 12 I felt as though my graduation from university was still a long time away...and yet now here I am, about to embark on another new chapter of my life. Lately I find myself wondering where all the time has gone, and a certain line uttered by Dr. Soran in Star Trek Generations comes to mind:
"Time is a predator, that stalks us all our lives."
It's easy to see the logic of this quote, seeing as how our lives seem to go by so quickly. Given this, it almost seems unfair to live at all, since it's all over too quickly to be enjoyed. Even so, however, while I can understand the sentiment underlying these words, I don't fully agree...while time may in fact be a predator, our lives are also defined by our mortality, and the quickness of our lives. As Jean Luc Picard says in that very same movie, "Time is a companion, one who comes with us on the journey, and reminds us to cherish every moment, for they won't come again." Personally, it is the latter quote I choose to embrace, since to me it is the one that rings more true. While yes, the quick passage of my life has lately been making me feel uncomfortable and nostalgic, I also believe that many great days are yet to come and I plan to cherish them all. The title of this blog is a reference to Bob Dylan, and his song by the same name has a similar message: that time is always changing, that the march is always forward, and that we should either embrace and enjoy it, or have no part in it whatsoever. Here's to you, Bob.
So say we all.
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